


Torture (Sweet Torture)

by GhostOfTasslehoff



Series: Who We Are In The Dark [2]
Category: Death Note (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst and Feels, Arguing, Boys Kissing, Confessions, Fighting Kink, L and Light aren't good at communication, Light might have a, Light's POV, M/M, Talking, inner monologue, pre-Yotsuba arc, the truth comes out
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-14
Updated: 2018-09-14
Packaged: 2019-07-12 07:28:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,860
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15990518
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GhostOfTasslehoff/pseuds/GhostOfTasslehoff
Summary: In the week following The Incident (as Light has taken to calling it), Light is falling apart inside. All he can think about is kissing L again, and L seems to want nothing to do with him. Finally, after he wakes up from yet another frustrating dream, Light decides to confront L about what happened. This... could end in disaster.





	Torture (Sweet Torture)

**Author's Note:**

> After posting Bang, I couldn't get the story out of my head. So here's a follow-up nobody asked for, from Light's perspective this time.

_“I’m just as human as you are-”_

_Fingers clutched his shirt, pulling him closer. L licked into his mouth hungrily, clearly inexperienced but still passionate enough to send a thrill through Light’s belly, and the sharp lines of him pressing against Light were enough to have him aching for more._

_“Ahh... ah, Light!”_

_L looked GOOD in the low light of the center, hair in more disarray than usual, lips swollen slightly from the kiss and panting heavily. The way he was staring at Light was even better, all dazed disbelief and smouldering want, and it was enough for Light to take a great risk. He knew he wouldn’t get away with it, but the startled look on L’s face as he knelt in front of him was enough to make him exult in it as he reached for the fallen toy._

_“... We should get back, Light-Kun.”_

_Watching L’s back as he walked away, Light felt his heart lurch and tried to muffle the despairing sob he wanted to make. He knew that he had made a mistake. Despite his frustration, or maybe even because of it, he had felt drawn to the strange detective over the last week, and it seemed to manifest itself sometimes in odd little bursts of attraction to and affection FOR the man who called himself L. And now he had overplayed his hand, and L was rejecting him. He hadn’t said it, but he could practically HEAR the taunt going through L’s mind about his ‘likelihood of being Kira’ going up. But now that he’d had a taste, he wanted more; how in the HELL was he going to get L to let him back in?_

With a gasp, Light woke up, shuddering as he dragged himself out of the dream. He looked immediately to L, hoping he hadn’t been talking in his sleep (because how embarrassing would it be to be having an erotic-turned-heartbreaking dream about your roommate after he had rejected you, while he was  _right there_  in the room?), but L’s back was to him as usual, and L himself silhouetted by the glow of his laptop screen. Slumping back with a groan, Light scrubbed at his face, grimacing at the clammy feel of sweat. He had been having the same dream since The Incident (as he had been calling it in his head) last week, and he was still no closer to figuring out how to get L to listen to him about what had happened. The only saving grace of what had happened was that Aizawa and Mogi hadn’t caught them in the act, so no one else on the task force seemed to be wise to what had transpired between them. And until he was able to get L to talk to him, he would much rather pretend everything was normal, regardless of how ‘Kira-like’ that might make him.

Unbidden, his eyes slid to L again, and he watched the man clack away at his keyboard for a few minutes before finally stopping. Turning his head to the side, L looked back, and Light had the impression of an owl staring at him in the dark. It was unnerving, honestly, he thought with a sort-of chill as he straightened up slowly, the way L looked right then; hunched over, dark hair sticking up every which way, and the only details he could make out of L’s face was the slight movement of his thumb idly dragging across his lip and the whites of his eyes wide and unblinking. He really  _did_  look very bird like - or maybe like some sort of gargoyle. They stayed like that, the silence stretching into a long minute - two - as they stared.

“You had a nightmare, Yagami-kun?” L finally asked, breaking the silence but not shifting otherwise. Light hesitated and then finally shook his head. “But you woke up like something was bothering you.”

_Ah, so you **were**  paying attention_, Light thought to himself, taking a slow breath to preemptively calm the spike of frustration he could feel building.

“Not a... it wasn’t precisely a  _nightmare_ ,” Light said slowly, frowning. He folded his arms in front of him, frowning slightly as he tried to come up with a way to explain the dream without coming right out and admitting he was dreaming of L. He didn’t miss the way L’s eyes widened at that, and there was something a little too knowing about that minute gesture that made Light grit his teeth and add, “I had a dream about Misa, if you must know.”

As soon as the words left his mouth, he wanted to curse himself. Telling L he was dreaming of  _him_  would have been embarrassing, but  _lying_  and saying he was dreaming of  _Misa_ , of all people, was sure to ring false in L’s eyes and raise his suspicions. Sure enough, L’s eyes narrowed in the darkness and he turned back to his laptop screen.

“I see.” The comment was so devoid of inflection or emotion that Light wanted to shake the man and scream at him. “Perhaps Yagami-kun would like to get back to sleep, then? I’m sure you wouldn’t want to miss your  _happy ending_.”

_That’s it._ Light grit his teeth again and leaned forward to grab a fistful of L’s shirt and yank him down onto the bed, leaning over him now. The grunt of surprise L let out was quickly stifled, and he held himself still as he glared up at Light. It had been hard enough to read L’s moods all during the week, considering how stone silent and closed off he had been, but now it was easy to feel the detective’s displeasure radiating off him.

“You know, you  _could_  call me just Light while we’re alone, it’s not like anyone would know,” Light pointed out, scowling down at the man. L’s mouth thinned into a disapproving scowl at that, and he stayed silent. “I mean, you don’t even use my name anymore unless we’re around the others. What, did I  _hurt your feelings_?”

“This is not a discussion Yagami-kun should be initiating after he’s just woken up frustrated,” L said flatly, a note of something hot simmering in the back of his tone. Light shifted on the bed until he could see L’s face right side up and then deliberately pressed a hand firmly to L’s chest. He didn’t push him into the bed or try and dig his fingers in, just held it there as he leaned down, until their noses were an inch apart. If L truly hadn’t been affected by what they had done, he wouldn’t react at all to this, but if he had...? If he had, or if it still affected him in some way, L would probably try to school his reactions, or distract Light from observing him.

“Too bad, because we’re having it,  _ **L**_ ,” he breathed, knowing that his breath would be ghosting across L’s face and watching carefully for his reaction. It was barely perceptible, but for the briefest second, that same hint of ‘something-hot’ that had been colouring L’s voice earlier flashed through his eyes, and his eyelids fluttered and drooped slightly before he managed to disguise his reaction. Light could see and feel the sudden tension in L’s body as he brought his foot up to plant firmly in the middle of Light's chest, toes digging painfully into the muscle through his thin t-shirt.

“Do  _not_  call me that,” L said hotly as he glared, eyes narrowed to slits now. “I already told you.”

That declaration and warning was as good as an acknowledgement to Light. “You’re still mad at me for what I did last week,” he breathed, not moving away, meeting L’s challenge with his own. “You liked it, and you think I did all of that solely to trick you, so you hate yourself and me for the fact that you  _wanted_  it.”

“Yagami-kun-“ L started, and Light cursed and dug his fingers into L’s chest, which in turn caused the detective to jerk away with a hiss at the sudden pain and shove with his foot, driving Light away. Light stayed where he was, crouched on all fours as he watched L scramble out from under him and prop himself up, keeping one foot slightly raised as if to say ‘don’t come any closer or I  _will_ kick you’.

“I told you not to call me  _that_ ,” Light said finally, glaring. “And you can say what you want, but I won’t believe you. The others may fall for your act, but I see more than you think. Your reaction says all I need to know.”

“And what does your intuition tell you, then?” L said coldly, slowly shifting into his usual ‘battle’ ready crouch once it was clear Light wasn’t going to attack him. That sent a thrill of exhilaration through Light that he shoved down for the time being, putting it away to examine later. He sat back, putting his hands up in the universal gesture for surrender before starting to tick off points on his fingers.

"Before last week, I couldn't get you to stop staring at me even when it was uncomfortable, and now you don't even  _look_ at me when I'm talking to you. Not about the case, not when Misa's trying to pester me about-" A slight grimace twisted Light's lips, giving the lie to his earlier comment about dreaming of Misa. "...  _sleeping_ with her. And then there's the fact you've stopped poking and prodding about me being Kira, or even taunting me at all about the things that annoy you. Every night when I wake up from these dreams, you completely ignore my existence for- for  _whatever_ it is that you're constantly typing." Light leaned forward slightly, acutely aware of the way L's shoulders tensed when he did. "Your behavior hasn't otherwise changed on the surface, not that the others have really noticed, but  _I've_ definitely noticed that you're getting irritated with everything quicker than before. My dad will notice any day now if something doesn't change, and it won't take long for the others to figure out that something's bothering you, or for them to figure out that it has something to do with that so called  _bonding exercise_."

"Yaga-" L paused when Light growled, a tiny smirk on his lips before he amended, " _Light_ -kun hasn't really brought up anything terribly convincing. Easily explained away by my being hyper focused on the case since coming back from a  _successful_ bonding experience. I was moody and irritable before you joined us. And it isn't exactly my job to  _comfort_ you after a nightmare. You'll have to do better than that."

"Then how about the fact that I can feel you tense up any time I happen to accidentally touch you, no matter how innocent it is?" L's eyes darted to the side quickly and he huffed out a breath as Light smiled tightly. "Or the way you gave Matsuda's back a death glare this afternoon when he suggested making laser tag a weekly outing? Seems extreme for someone who found it so  _fun_  last time."

"It  _was_ fun. It also shouldn't be a weekly activity. Maybe bi-weekly, but anything more than that is willfully slacking in our duties," L said, a low growl that  _did things_  to Light starting to creep into his voice. Light opened his mouth to say something, and L shot him a look, holding up a hand to forestall him. "You still haven't explained why this means I am a liar, or what  _exactly_ it is that you  _think_ you know."

_I think you want me_ , Light thought to himself, and he closed his eyes, his breath hitching for a moment as he remembered the intoxicating feel of lips and tongues clashing, the feel of L's body moving against him, and the way he had looked at him before Light had gone and ruined it.  _And what's more is that I **want**  you to want me._

"No-one..." he started, voice breaking slightly as he looked back up at the detective through his bangs. Time to bring out the final observation he'd made in the week since The Incident. He was absolutely sure he was right on this. His work had suffered this week due to his distraction over the memory, and he had gone over the details so many times that he was sure he had figured out all the nuances of L's actions and reactions. " _Not one person_  can fake their reaction so well when they are having their first kiss."

L sat back hard, a look of dull surprise on his face before he wrapped his arms around his knees, bringing his thumb back up to his mouth as he mumbled something that sounded suspiciously like 'shit'.

"L?"  _Did he actually just swear? I don't think I've heard him cuss once since I met him_ , Light thought, eyes wide as he watched L. "Did you just say-"

"Shit?" L rolled his eyes upwards, clearly unimpressed by the question. "Obviously. Was it really  _that_ obvious it was my first kiss?"

"I mean, it could have been possible you'd kissed people before, but that was  _definitely_  the first time you've had your tongue down someone else's throat, I would say," Light said wryly, grinning at the casual way L had relented just now. Did this mean that things were approaching  _better_  between them?

"That's a very crude way of putting it, Light-kun," L said crossly, and Light beamed at the use of his name. He couldn't help it; he laughed. It felt good after the constant strain of anxiety he had felt the whole week. L flinched and hunched down over his knees, chewing on his thumbnail, clearly not appreciating the laughter, and Light reached out to gently rest a hand on his arm.

"Sorry, I'm not laughing at  _you_ , L-"

"Light-kun, I really must insist that you call me Ryuzaki," L interrupted, looking down at Light's hand. Light smiled again and nodded.  _How can someone so strange simultaneously be so endearing and adorable?_

"Of course. Ryuzaki." His smile faded slightly and he looked down before taking gentle hold of L's other arm, ducking down to peer up into L's eyes beseechingly as he quietly asked, " _Were_  you mad at me? For that trick I pulled, I mean?"

L stared at him silently for a long, agonizing moment before whispering, "Yes. You had the truth of it, Light-kun. It was unnecessary to go to such lengths just to win a game I didn't know we were playing."

_Ohh_. Light dropped his eyes, shame washing over him as he realized how it must have seemed. "You must have thought I only kissed you in the first place to throw you off guard and distract you," he said in a hush.

"Correct again, Light-kun," L said gently, carefully pulling himself from Light's grasp and shuffling back towards his laptop. To Light's surprise, he only closed the lid, leaving the room in darkness only broken by the light shining in from the window.

"I- I'm sorry, Ryuzaki, that isn't what I meant by it at all," Light said, watching the detective turn back to him and settle down beside Light's customary place on the bed, his eyes wide and luminous and haunting in the dark. Swallowing, Light carefully slid back under the covers beside L, unable to look away as he added in a whisper, "All I was thinking about at the time was how much I was enjoying myself with you. With everyone, but working with you, even on something so frivolous as laser tag- it's nice to not be the only competitive one for once, and it was even more gratifying to see you let loose again, and it was a challenge to play as part of a team for something that's usually every man for himself, you know?"

A smile quirked at L's lips as Light talked, and he found himself distracted by it, struck anew by how it transformed his face. L wasn't exactly a conventionally attractive man, true, all angles and rumpled clothes and strange quirks, but when he smiled... when he  _really_  smiled, there was a quiet, pure joy that permeated his features and softened the edges.

"Light?" L's voice cut through his musings, and Light shook his head to clear it.

"Sorry... I, uh... got distracted by your smile," he said, offering a shy smile of his own. He usually tried not to share that kind of sentiment with anyone he didn't actually have an attraction to, simply because girls tended to get quite attached when they received compliments like that, but L merely smiled again, and gestured for him to continue. "Damn, sorry, uh... what was I saying?"

"You were enjoying working as part of a team...?"

"OH, right!" Light chuckled and rubbed a hand through his hair self-consciously, ignoring the way his face was heating up. If he was going to get through this with any possibility of L forgiving him and allowing him to get closer, he would have to be truthful, not tell some sort of half truth. "What I was trying to say is that I enjoyed myself, with you, even though I didn't initially want to go. And you were being... well, it seemed like you were trying to play to Matsuda and my dad, and it was unexpected, but really sweet, and when you said that you were  _just as human_  as I am... I wanted to see what you would do if I kissed you. Not for any nefarious reason, Mr-everything-you-do-means-you-are-Kira, but simply because your dorkiness made me want to kiss you."

"My... why would you want to kiss me in the first place, Light-kun? It can't just be because of my ridiculous boasting regarding the game," L asked, tilting his head slightly to one side and bringing his thumb back up to his mouth. Light grabbed L's hand before he could start chewing on his nail, threading his fingers through L's and squeezing.

_Dork, I just said why. Or does he want to hear me say something sentimental and romantic?_ Light smiled at the questioning look on L's face and began lightly tracing patterns on the back of L's hands, taking a moment as he did to put some of his thoughts in order.

"Because I like you, isn't that obvious? I enjoy working with you, I enjoy debating with you, and I enjoy hanging out with you even though by all rights I should  _hate_  you for locking me up."

"I should remind you that  _you_  were the one who asked me to-" L started to say, stopping in surprise when Light pressed a silencing finger to his mouth.

"I know," Light said softly. He took a deep breath and removed his finger from L's lips, bringing it up to brush it down L's cheek in the barest of touches. L's eyes closed again as he shivered at the contact, and Light laughed again, quietly. "Still. I'm sorry I teased you like that. I knew you'd be shocked if I acted like I was going to... well..." His cheeks flaming, he shrugged helplessly. "You know. And I  _had_  shouted out that we were joining Mogi and Aizawa's match, so I thought it would be funny to do that instead. Apparently I don't think things through when I'm, ah... running on hormones. I'm sorry, L- Ryuzaki."

L sighed, reaching up to scratch idly at his hair as he slitted his eyes open, gazing at Light through his bangs. “That was a cruel trick to play on someone who doesn’t know what they’re doing, Light-kun,” he said finally, lips twitching as if he were trying to hide a smile. “I’m not sure if I should forgive you. Especially since this entire exchange is raising-”

“My probability of being Kira, yes, I know how this works,” Light said with a (fondly) exasperated roll of his eyes. L let out a small, rare laugh at that and reached out to trail a tentative finger down Light’s cheek, mimicking Light’s own earlier action. He shivered at the sensation, and reached up to close his fingers around L’s, squeezing both hands affectionately. They stayed in that silent moment of sentiment until L cleared his throat.

“You know... Kira or not, I...” The hesitation pulled a questioning sound from Light, and L took a breath and continued, not looking away. “I might... no, I  _would_  like to try again. If you promise NOT to play any cruel tricks on me this time.”

Light's stomach flipped in excitement, and his face hurt from smiling so much as he asked, "You mean it?"

"Of course, this doesn't mean I forgive you yet," L said, extricating one hand from Light's grasp and bringing a finger up to trace along his lip as he looked away in what was  _obviously_  mock thought.

"Ryuzaki...." Light began, his smile widening into a grin as he shifted closer, but L merely continued as if Light hadn't said  _anything_. Only the way his eyes danced gave away the fact that he was teasing Light. L,  _teasing._

"I suppose you'll just have to find some way to make it up to me if you want- hey!"

The exclamation was cut short as Light tugged L forward to sprawl against him, catching him before he fell over fully and kissing him hard. He couldn't help himself; the fact that  _L_  was teasing him about the whole thing was  _doing things_  to him, and since the detective had already expressed interest in kissing him again, why the hell not? It took a moment for L to respond, but when he did, fingers reaching up to snake into Light's hair and mouth falling open in invitation, Light took it. He kissed L thoroughly this time, reveling in the muffled sighs and the way the detective threw himself just as eagerly into this as he did the case. They broke apart to catch their breaths, and Light brought both hands up to frame his face, brushing dark hair aside before beginning to pepper soft kisses to L's face.

"By the way," he whispered in between kisses, enjoying the way L's hands fell to clutch at his shoulders and his breathing sped up with each soft press of lips to skin. "... I promise. No tricks."

"Just torture?" L asked with a wry quirk of his lips, a breathy quality to his voice that sent arousal straight through Light. That quickly brought a gasp from him as L finally shifted over to settle in Light's lap, and damn it, he had  _not_ been expecting  _that_.

"Who is torturing whom?" Light asked with a low growl, arms going around the detective's waist and pulling him close, and L just smirked, threading his fingers through Light's hair again as he leaned forward to kiss him. He was picking this up  _very_  quickly, Light noticed with a thrill. Looked like he was going to be  _very_  tired in the morning. And whatever happened, it would be worth every second.


End file.
